Self-Esteem and Attraction
Swinging may help improve your self-esteem, if you allow it to. However, if you have low self-esteem and let it show, this will affect how others interact with you. Everyone likes a person who likes him/herself.
Remember that beauty truly is in the “eye of the beholder”. But for others to find you beautiful, you must first believe yourself to be beautiful. No matter how you may physically look, what is most important is how you feel about yourself. If you have low self-esteem, and don’t believe yourself to be attractive, that will show through in your interactions with others. When you let your low self-esteem show, it is not your physical self others are responding to when they don’t find you attractive, but rather your emotional and personal self. They are responding not to your looks but to your personality. If you have an attractive personality others will find you attractive.
While you should make every effort to present yourselves in the best light possible, this does not mean that you need to go out and change yourself into something or someone who you are not. You are who you are. As long as you care about yourself and show that you are happy with who you are, others will find you attractive. The goal of swinging should not be to want everyone to want to have sex with you, but rather to attract those that you most want to have sex with. If all you want is sex with people who consider beautiful, but your own body does not match that same level of what you find “beautiful”, then you may need to change yourself physically. If, however, your goal is to find people who you are attracted to on multiple levels and they are also attracted to you, then just be who you are and present yourself well, and success will follow.
What does this mean?
It means making sure that you embrace good hygiene habits. Before you go out to meet others, take a shower and put on clean, presentable clothes. Clean and trim your fingernails, ear and nose hair. Dress to impress, but dress in a way that you are comfortable. Don’t go out the door to meet others in ripped jeans or sweat pants and a t-shirt, or with grease under your nails from when you changed your oil. When another couple looks at you and sees something as simple as dirty fingernails the thought that runs through their mind is “what else did they forget to wash?” Don’t go looking like you just rolled out of bed, or made didn’t make any effort. Present yourself as worthy of desire from others. You should expect the same from others as well.
Looking like you are having a good time goes a long way.
Don’t sit in the corner (or across the table) with a frown on your face and your arms crossed. Doing so makes it seem that you are not having a good time, and that you don’t want to be there. By going with a positive attitude and a smile on your face (and in your eyes) you will be attractive to those around you, if for no other reason than you look like you are enjoying yourself. People are attracted to fun, happy people. They will see you are happy and want to be a part of that. Try to step outside of yourself and see how others see you. Do you seem approachable? Would you want to pick you up? Would you want to have sex with you? Do you come across as interesting, exciting, or at least happy and fun? If not, those are things you need to work on.
What tips have you found to help improve your self-esteem?